My big adventure yesterday was going to Kroger and riding around in one of those little motorized carts while grocery shopping. I wanted to see if I could do donuts, but people were already staring at me, so I didn't. The other folks in the motorized carts, mostly senior citizens, were giving me the broman nod while rolling past me like we were in some kind of clique. I could see the others staring trying to figure out what (if anything) was wrong with me. Their eyes dropped down and I could tell when they spotted those hideous surgical shoes that I am forced to wear. Then it was like awwww. Hey, I don't need pity from a bunch of bored housewives. I felt like saying sure, I'm having some mobility issues right now, but I'll be back on my feet in a month and you'll still be ugly!
Being housebound is causing me to do strange stuff like watching QVC, the Home Shopping Network and Gems TV. I ordered a Bissell Steam Mop and am actually excited about getting it. How pitiful is that to be excited over a dayumned mop? But in my defense, I have a pissy dog and need all the help I can get with keeping the floors clean. I can't stand a nasty house, or a house that smells like dog.
Speaking of cleaning the house, a Merry Maids representative came over to give me an estimate. That woman said that it would cost $630 for two ladies to give my house a "Spring Cleaning." That's dayumn near the mortgage on my rental house, and it would only cover the ground level! If I wanted to just hire them by the hour, that rate is $79. Who knew that maids were making that kind of scratch? Shoot, I'm about to start scrubbing toilets in my spare time.
Other folks around here have people that clean their houses, and I know they aren't paying that kind of money. I'll hire a day laborer before I go out like that. One of those workers will probably do the whole house for $20 and a sandwich.
2 comments:
Not Amy Winehouse! LMAOOOOO. I guess I am on my way then because I sure pop my percocets at night. I have to sleep with that tape on one of my toes so that it will heal straight and I tell you, I've awaken in the middle of the night ready to scream.
And no you were not trying to do donuts in the motorized cart! LMAO and LOL @ the broman nod from the fellow 'scooters'. Too funny!
And shoot, if those maids are making that kinda scratch, then I think I found my new side hustle.
Girl, those pills are the devil, so I stopped taking them as soon as possible. I don't have constant pain - just when I've been standing for too long - so I can get by without taking anything for most of the day.
And people really do look at you funny in those carts. I guess they're thinking, "Okay, she's not old or obese, I wonder if she's lazy."
For all that money, those maids better do my grocery shopping, walk the dog and cook me a week's worth of meals that I can put in the freezer.
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